#2: Living the “Intuitive Way” — Embodying Your Soul
There is always an intuitive process in motion below the surface. Do you sense it? Feel it? Get the message? Trust it? Act in accordance with it? Thank it?
I regularly tune in to the energy under the surface of ordinary reality to check on the process occurring in the inner realms. When I did this awhile ago, I noticed my body felt both calm and excited at the same time. My body is a microcosmic representation of the more vast, nonphysical me, and often I find similarities with other people and even with world events. We’re all really SO connected! If I’m sleepless because the latest energy wave is revving me up to new levels of consciousness and my system is trying to adapt, many others I talk with are experiencing versions of the same thing.
This time I sensed a quality of resoluteness, like “I’m prepared and ready for whatever may come,” as well as a stirring of spring fever about a new level of creativity, a new kind of involvement with life. I was excited because it seemed that “real movement” was at hand, like “the real part” of life was now beginning. Yet I had no concrete conception of what I meant, just a feeling that a “training period” was nearly over and an experience I’ve known but can only refer to in these quote-unquote phrases, was about to occur.
Certainly we’ve all been living, learning, growing, creating, and expressing our soul’s purpose all along, but it’s as though there’s been a filmy coating over our view, and we’ve been cleaning the lens for much of our life thus far.
Not long before this, life had seemed difficult and compacted and I mainly wanted to hibernate. During that time, a voice in me said, “Just go about life as usual, do what’s necessary, and stay as quiet and as ‘in the flow’ as possible.” My mind would pop up regularly and scream because I wasn’t materializing my reality at the level I was used to, but the other voice was calming and overrode the panic with unflappable persistence.
My mind thought the other voice was really crazy some days — it was SO illogical. I watched many others going through major changes — advancing in their careers, moving across country, going back to school, marrying their soulmate. I tried to catalyze change in my own life but my will power just banged up against an invisible wall. My life was moving at a pace independent of my mind. So this was what was meant by “liminal space”! The in-between time when it only seems that nothing is happening.
In retrospect, it feels like there was a reorganization going on in my deeper self, perhaps in the circuitry of my subtle bodies. In the absence of distracting hyperactivity, I was drawn to do smaller, more invisible things, like dissolving ideas that were like wet-blanket overlays or ones I was unconsciously holding and patterning myself with. These were ideas and pronouncements from people I had defined as authority figures, opinions I had internalized that weren’t actually mine, or even more subtle decisions, “vows,” and “contracts” that limited my range of behavior and life experience.
I dissolved, dissolved, dissolved, and faced the blank space that appeared in the absence of my busy and stubborn thought habits. I practiced converting the emptiness to an experience of pleasurable open space with room to move and breathe and rest. I allowed the possibility that nothing might ever fill me up again, and practiced not going into grief over this thought.
Don’t Even THINK About It!!
As I turned my inner eye hopefully toward the future to see what might come, my inner voice said, “NO. Don’t look for it. Don’t project ahead. Don’t plan.” Don’t plan??? Are you nuts?
“Just engage with what presents itself to you from the unified field. Everything you need will come.” Arrrrgh! “A thought about creating an event may present itself to you, or someone may invite you to do some work or go to a concert or the art museum. There will be no “should” attached, no whiff of struggle or potential letdown. It doesn’t matter whether the source is internal or external, the ideas all come from the soul, from the Us. Engage with what comes — when it feels simple, clean, and clear.”
But, but, but . . . “And next, you are to keep your attitude and energy field at a frequency that makes you feel the most content, cheerful, enthusiastic, generous, and cooperative.” That’s all? “That’s all. Build faith in this new way of living.”
So I practiced keeping my worry, even my good-natured, comedic grumbling, to a minimum while keeping my mind firmly in the moment. I noticed the details of what was within arm’s reach. I took myself up on all my good ideas, and responded positively to invitations. And indeed, there were a higher than average number of unsolicited offers to do talks and network with new groups. I was witnessing the magic of synchronicity.
This magical connectedness penetrated into subtle realms as well. In a meditation or dream I’d have an insight about my process of growth; the next day a person would visit, speaking about the same themes, mouthing the same phrases, and presenting clues for my next step. I’d be frustrated doing a task at my computer and within hours someone would suggest the solution or a new kind of software that eclipsed my antiquated way of working.
I was learning to notice the synchro-mesh way that life functions when I don’t get in the way with immobilizing thoughts. I saw that the prior difficult time had been the beginning of this present-moment-be-in-the-flow practice — when I was teaching myself to do it without realizing what I was doing. Now I was honing the skills of living in the moment and sharing responsibility for the direction of my life with the collective consciousness — which arises from each particle of light, in each atom of the physical plane, in each moment. And, to which I also belong.
So far, my instructions went like this:
Stay in the moment, don’t project into the future. Keep your intuition open.
Engage with what comes; everything you need will be provided by the unified field and the Us.
What comes will either look like a thought in your head or an event in the world; often you’ll notice the guidance in both places. Do what produces the greatest happiness and be happy in what you do.
Monitor your moods and internal state; prefer energy and consciousness that is close to your “home frequency” so guidance from the clearest level can register in you. Enthusiasm, even mild enthusiasm, cheerfulness, curiosity, sincerity, innocence, generosity, and gratitude work well.
Pay attention to harmonies and integrations.
Learn to be extremely quiet and deeply attentive on a regular basis. Listen for soul urges. Feel how they differ from the mind’s shoulds. Is there a difference in tone or pressure? If it’s shrill or tight, the idea originates with the mind.”
After several months of practicing these things, the opportunities were definitely showing up, but without much increase in income. I sat back down to have a talk with my inner voice. Was I missing something? I’d been following instructions faithfully.
“The opportunities you receive are filtered through your ‘state,’” my voice informed me. “The first step in improving your state has been to eliminate negative thinking, raise the frequency of your personal energy, and maintain the consistency of higher thoughts. So far, so good. Now you must be able to distinguish between what your mind has been programmed to want and what you-the-soul really want.
“You’ve been attracting opportunities that embody the partiality of you being in the middle of this learning process — they’re not the old security-based opportunities that come from what the mind thinks it needs, and not yet the entertaining, creative options that you-the-soul truly desire. This is why life seems ‘sort of good’ and not outrageously fabulous. The more you trust this clearing process, the sooner you will find resources — be it opportunities, assistance, or money — dropping into your lap. Don’t go after the money, but the highest state of being. It’s that which creates your reality.
“By your state, which is the quality of energy in your personal field, you are giving instructions to the greater unified field, which is the collective consciousness of all souls. You may think you’re asking for opportunities, but actually you’re telling the Field what you will accept. The collective consciousness, the Us, may have a much better, easier plan in store for you. Can you imagine matching that vibration?
“To know what instructions you’ve been giving to the Field, look at what you already have. The next step in your practice is:
Appreciate and use what you have right now; digest it and get all the food value. This is what you told Us you wanted and needed. Nothing new can come until you use what you have and merge into gratitude, which is a powerful state of being.”
I realized how often I dismissed with the wave of my hand the gratitude others expressed to me or the kind things people did for me. I saw how I wasn’t really stopping to register the successful completions of projects or the underlying usefulness of periods of high intensity busyness or relaxing downtime. I’d create a new experience, materialize a new bauble, then be on to the next thing, not taking time to sink into the experience that the beautiful necklace or the talk to women entrepreneurs had facilitated for me. I realized pleasure and self-entertainment were a big part of the soul’s motive.
I’d complain that I wasn’t busy enough, then remember that the previous week I’d wished fervently for some time to myself. Obediently, the Field had brought me a string of empty-ish days. Instead of treasuring them and using them to deepen my connection with life, my mind would jump ahead and worry that if this continued, I wouldn’t be able to pay the rent. Then the projected lack of money became the new set of instructions I was giving to the Field. And it obediently brought me more scarcity.
When I sank into the experience of emptiness and lack of financial flow, and asked what the gift in this was, I understood it did not relate to my self-worth at all, nor to the foundering economy. I was showing myself what it felt like to squeeze off the flow, how harboring complaints and anxieties left no room for creativity. I was also showing myself how important it is to allow a “lying fallow time” or “liminal space” at the end of a long period of productivity.
So I developed the habit of asking, “Why did I, the soul, bring this moment together in just this way?” And I was able to glimpse my greater focus. Sometimes it was the desire to remove judgments and ossified thoughts by bringing them to light. Sometimes it was to direct me into silence, or into my senses or cellular awareness. Sometimes it was to just be and sometimes it was to act in a way that seemed to be irrational.
Slowly, I began to see, feel, and know: the Wisdom.
Thank you so much for putting this into words.. It named parts of what I am experiencing now… How awesome..
This is truly an excerpt of how I am living now! I love the peace of letting go without agenda! So many insights appear!