Quite a few years ago. . .
I was practicing using my intuition to discriminate the difference between my various inner directives and desires, making it a priority to choose actions that allowed a greater experience of soul. Then, on my birthday, I got the idea to sit down and do a reading for myself — something, in all my years of doing in-depth life readings for others, I’d never attempted.
I imagined my body and personality sitting in the chair opposite me and “I” began to talk to “her” out loud, recorder going. I share some of it here, because it might be speaking to you, too.
You hold a contraction in your body, as do most people, that comes from early shocks and disappointments about the extent to which fear makes people cold and hard. By holding it, you unknowingly create a false meaning, or identity, for yourself. This is old thinking, and unnecessary. You are not sad. You are not unloved. You are not invisible. You are not overwhelmed by negativity. And you are not so undeveloped as to be thrown by the blind behavior of others.
It’s important now to stop pretending, once and for all, that human fear, human ignorance, and bad behavior are wounding. These things have been here in every lifetime you’ve lived and you’ve always dealt with it. There is a part of the mind that likes to stay in darkness, that clutches at these shocks and holds onto them tightly to keep the small identity alive. The last of this clutching is to be released now. You are to take no more identity from being a wounded person.
In the silence you are being fed. In the silence you are being loved. It is in the silence that everything you think you’re not getting is actually being given and received and enjoyed by all parties involved. To partake of that enjoyment, simply quiet your mind and drop IN. Enter into faith that in this period of quiet and lack of direction, there is a much richer experience than you have ever had. Seek it, feel it. It is the precursor to the time when many gifts will be given, unbeknownst to your mind at this present time.
So it is time now to be fully available by releasing every contraction, every concave posture in your body. Adjust your posture so your head is up and level, your eyes are open and shiny, your chest is wide, your heart is soft, your feet are on the ground, you’re breathing evenly, your spine is tingling, and you are receiving like a magnet.
You are drawing to you, out of the field, many things, many people, many molecules, which would respond to the force that you ARE in the world, to the place that you are. As you exist the physical plane, you are a field, and many particles of consciousness want to arise to come visit this place, to discover what it’s like to be physical in a way similar to yours, by matching the resonance. So create an environment and extend it, and welcome others into it, even if the guest be one molecule, or the tiniest fairy or minuscule being. This is the next work — the stabilization of the frequency of what you are materializing, which starts with your level of energy, the kind of body, mind, and emotions you materialize, the kind of house and social relationships you coalesce.
Watch your reactions now. Every day you react to stimuli, to different people, colors, and sensations. Allow those to bring you data. What’s being communicated? Allow yourself to choose to change your reaction if you notice you don’t like the first gut reaction you have. If you notice you contract for the wrong reason, take a breath, recenter yourself, bring the stimulation back in again and re-act to it the way you want to. Go deeper, stay open.
When anxieties come, do not hold the waves, but let them impress you briefly, feel the subtle postures they cause you to assume, how the breath changes. Feel the resulting apathy, the anticipation of a negative outcome, the disappointment or readiness for disappointment. Then move your body slightly, as though to shudder mildly, and the posture with its thought habits will be carried away by the ripples in the pond. Return to the vibration of your own field and an aligned posture. Only by holding vibrations that are lower than your own energy do you attract beings who are interested in self-sacrifice, who glory in sacrifice. And these tests are unnecessary and a waste of soul force.
Let yourself forget what you’ve been doing all these years, how you’ve been doing it. You don’t have to remember how things happened to you, how you reacted, what you did that worked or didn’t work. Let all those memories go and float up and out of your tissues, out through the aura. You don’t know if it ever happened now or not, or if it happened to YOU or not. And all the people who were associated with you in those memories, let them go to a different place in the aura and find their own place of floating. You don’t have to hold them or remember anything about them.
Be unconcerned. You’ll know what you need to know. Holding personal history takes too much energy. And now, there is a bubble wanting to puff you up and flow out through you. And now, it pops! And you are new. Like a baby, you are new and your eyes are educating you about now, right now.
Rest and be happy in yourself, in your place, in your vibration, and allow it to increase at the rate it wants to, to the level it wants to. There is plenty of space in the place that is you. You can have privacy simply by placing your attention inside your own body. You can have social activity by expanding your aura to include others. It’s in your mind. So move as you feel and want to move, in your own imagination, as you please.
The dammed up waters are now ebbing out onto the long wide flat plain and they are sinking into the earth.
The internal process of experiencing more of the true self and the external acts of creating the stuff of the world from the soul’s genius, are both parts of the same process of evolution. Personal growth is intimately tied to societal innovation, corporate transformation, and career success; the inner and outer can no longer be disconnected. Yes, we need our logical mind to grasp ideas, describe them, and make them conscious and physical, but it is only through intuition that what’s important, our vision and directions, are revealed in the first place.
I can’t emphasize enough the power of “being with” the intuition development process. It is in this way that the process integrates into the fabric of your being, and it is how your intuition becomes the fuel for the new you — the you who may be a great visionary thinker, a transformer of outworn systems, a motivator of psychically exhausted workers, or the one who heals with presence and truth, or leads others with love. Perhaps, with open intuition and skillful perception, you will be one of the ones who helps build a new world made of light.
I’ve dreamed of heaven — the full and perfect bliss
That waits the spirit in a larger sphere;
And, looking up, have found enough in this
To realize the rapturous vision here!
— Alice Cary, from Heaven on Earth
www.penneypeirce.com
Ken, I think letting go of loved ones has a subtle connotation that we will think of them as no longer existing, but it really means experiencing them as souls, neutrally with the kind of love that applies to all beings. That kind of love is not greater for some than others. And it also means knowing we connect every time we think of them, or they focus attention on us. Perhaps it's the experience of that joyful connectedness that goes beyond time and all the various forms we've taken as humans—like who we were as a child, a teen, a young adult, an older adult, and so on. It's as you say, this brings a more expansive experience of love that is the REAL love!
Definitely resonated, thanks for sharing. The idea of letting go of memories and perceptions of people from our past is wise and challenging, especially loved ones no longer here. Overcoming the conditioned expectations regarding our thoughts, words, feelings and actions about these relationships is very difficult yet it is true that all of this is still within the mind. I suspect by letting this go an even more expansive love will be known.